E!
by newmoon1220
Summary: Bella tries to outsmart Edward. Oneshot! This is what happens when Edward thinks TOO hard. It's more popular than I thought it would be! DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT!


I was lying down on the couch in front of the television. My head rested on Edward's lap. A blanket was lying on me, keeping me warm from Edward's touch. The room was dark; the only sign of light came beaming from the TV. We were watching I Love Lucy. And it was getting a bit boring.

When it came to commercial, I sat upright a little, facing Edward. As usual, he muted the volume on commercials. The constant Valentines Day themed ones was especially annoying.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Knock-knock."

He started at me quizzically.

"Who's there?"

"Anita."

"Anita who?"

"Anita kiss," I said, suppressing laugher. He thought for a moment, then leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I scrambled through my thoughts. What other jokes did I have?

"Why did the _rooster _cross the road?"

"To prove he wasn't a chicken," he answered simply. I frowned slightly. _Wait, he'll never get this one!_

"What's black and white and _read _all over?"

"A newspaper." I pouted and sighed.

"Bella, I know just about every joke in the book."

"There has to be one you don't know!"

"Try me," he challenged, smiling.

"Fine!" I stood silent for a moment, planning the perfect riddles.

"Okay, so there is this family, and the baby gets murdered. When the detective came to check out the scene, he asked each family member what he or she was doing when the murder happened. The mom said, "I was cooking dinner." The dad said, "I was getting the Sunday mail." The brother said, "I was on the phone with my girlfriend." And the sister said, "I was on the computer." So who did it?"

Edward thought for a couple seconds, before coming to a conclusion.

"The father."

"Why?" I asked sheepishly, disappointed.

"There is no mail on Sundays!" I groaned in frustration and realized that I Love Lucy was back on. He began to turn it up when I realized the perfect riddle.

"Wait!" I said. He turned it down again, looking tiredly at me. 

"There's no point, Bella. I _will_ win."

"Okay, since you're so sure, we can make a deal."

He raised his eyebrows. "Don't be too harsh on yourself," he teased.

"If I stump you on the following riddle," I said formally, "then…you'll have to change me."

"Oh, be rational Bella!"

"Fine, fine," I groaned. "Then you will have to let me drive for an entire month," I said, smiling deviously.

"A _month?_" he exclaimed.

"A month," I confirmed. He sighed.

"And if I figure out your riddle?" he prodded.

"Well…" I stopped, thinking long and hard.

"Maybe it's only fair if _I _choose, since you're so confident as well," he stated. I looked at him, surprised.

"Go ahead!" I disputed, trying to hide the chagrin in my voice.

"You must be my Valentine," he said, brushing my cheek as I blushed, "and go to the Valentine's dance with me."

_Oh, damn! He's got me!_

"No!"

"It's only fair."

"Hell no! I can't dance!"

"I'll teach you."

I moaned. "No!"

"Then the deals off!"

I puffed out air, annoyed.

"Besides, you said you'd win!" he teased.

"Well, I can't take the chances."

"Oh come on, Bella. How are you ever going to prove you can outsmart me?"

I gawked at him. However, his words were left hanging in my mind, tugging at me. _How would I, anyways?_ No, I had to do this. Besides, I was quite convinced my riddle was hard.

"Fine."

"Deal?"

"Deal," I said, shaking his hand.

"And no backing out on the consequences, or they will only get worse!" he warned, smiling.

"The same goes for you, Edward! Oh, and by the way, you have to swear that you won't cheat. No asking people, and no online reference. Do you swear, Edward Cullen?" I asked seriously.

"I swear, Isabella," he answered, laughing at my sternness.

"Okay. What is at the end of time, the beginning of all ends, and the beginning of eternity?"

He stared at me, dumbfounded. "End of time, beginning of all ends, beginning of eternity…" he repeated softly, looking away. He took out a piece of paper and wrote it down, and began to study it.

"Do I have a time limit?" he asked, concerned.

"Yes. If you don't have the correct answer by 4:00 tomorrow, I win." I smiled contently. It was working! His staggered expression tensed a bit.

"Can I refer to the books in the school library?"

"As long as they are not joke or riddle books, yes. But no computers!"

"Alright. This'll be tricky."

_Really?! _I thought excitedly. _Yes!_

"You have the whole night to figure it out."

"And you should get some sleep!" He began to carry me to his room.

"No cheating, Edward Cullen!"

"Yes, ma'am."

-----------------

"No hints, I already said that!" I yelled at Edward as we headed to the cafeteria for lunch.

"Okay, okay," he said, dramatically. "No need to get all moody." I punched him hard in the arm. He laughed loudly. Apparently, I had a good reason to be annoyed. _Edward _was trying to make me slip. But no way. This was all him now.

"I think I'll go to the library. Will you be okay here?"

"Yeah, I'll go hang out with Jessica," I answered while gathering my lunch. He kissed me softly before heading towards the library. As I stood up, a cold hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to see Alice standing before me.

"Wow, Bella. You really have him stumped! Nice job!" she said while patting me on the back.

"Yeah, did he tell you that I get to drive for a month if he fails?" I said evilly.

"A _month?_" I heard Jasper say as he approached us.

"Yup," I said, happy with myself.

"Nice going, Bella!" I smiled and sat down again. Sitting with Alice and Jasper would definitely be better than with Jessica and the other pretty girls.

"Alice, could you do me a favor, though?"

"Sure thing!"

"Could you make sure Edward doesn't cheat?"

Alice smiled excitedly. "Sure!"

"And if you catch him," I said, grinning widely, "bring him to _moi._"

"Of course." She said, happily. In an instant, she was on her way to the library.

"So what was the riddle that you asked him?"

"Can't say."

"Why not?" he asked, surprised.

"Because if, for instance, you know the answer, and you think it when Edward is around, my chances will disappear!"

"Oh," he said, disappointed. "You're really hyped up about all this, aren't you?"

I smiled. "Can't you feel?"

-------------

3:15

3:30

3:50

"Ten more minutes!" I called to Edward, who was upstairs, buried in thought. I could here is growl of frustration at how annoying I was. Reminding him every 5 minutes how much time he had left.

"Wow, Bella," Emmett said while flipping through channels. "You might win this."

"I know," I said, trying to hide the utter excitement in my voice. I started back down at my textbook, calculating the math problems.

"You're clever, Bella," I looked up at Emmett and smiled hugely. He could praise me all he wanted; I wouldn't be one bit annoying. This was pure fun.

I looked at the clock. 3:57.

"Three minutes!" I reminded him again.

"Shush!" Edward hollered from upstairs. In less than a second, he was right in front of me, with pleading eyes. His hands were filled with large and boring looking books. Far too many I could ever carry.

"Bella, I'm afraid I've failed."

"Not yet, Edward. You still have…" I glanced at the clock. "Two minutes."

"Look, I've searched through _Astronomy and Time, The Physics of Astrophysics, The Bible, The Code of the Bible, Time and Space, Fatalism, The Topology of Time, The Growing Universe Theory-" _Edward stopped. This whole time, he was going threw his endless pile of books, reading the titles. He wasn't even almost done when he stopped. And if you're wondering why he stopped, it was because Emmett and I began roaring with laugher after trying to suppress them.

"What?!" he demanded, horrified. He placed all the books on the floor and stood up, his face twisted.

I swear, if Emmett could have, he would have been crying so hard the entire couch would have been soaked. Because I knew I was. Edward waited impatiently for us to calm down to receive some explanations.

"What?!" he boomed again, this time much louder. I tried to stop laughing, I tried so hard, but it was impossible. Edward looked like he was going to strangle someone. I quickly managed to speak.

"First of all, your time's up!"

"I know that!" he yelled.

"Second, you might as well return all those books because they will be of no use."

He started at me hard. I knew that if he hadn't had such a keen sense of hearing, he wouldn't have been able to understand my muffled attempts at speaking while dying with laughter.

"Just tell me the answer!" he puffed in frustration. I wiped my tears away while holding onto Emmett so I wouldn't fall of the couch.

"E!" I yelled. Emmett and me grew silent, staring at Edward. Edward creased his eyebrows, confused.

"Come again?"

"E!" I screamed this time. Emmett and me began giggling again at Edward's bewildered face.

"_E_?" he repeated, shocked.

"Yes!" I choked loudly.

Edward thought for a moment. Emmett and me calmed down again, observing him. Edward's face suddenly fell. His eyes squinted, and he clenched his teeth.

"E?!" he yelled, extremely frustrated.

"E!" I yelled back.

His mouth gaped open. Emmett and me just laughed harder. Edward stomped his foot.

"Damnit!" he roared. "E? That's it? E? Are you serious!" He smacked himself in the forehead. I got up, panting for air and hugged him.

"It's okay, Edward. It was a trick question." He blankly hugged me back while no feeling.

"Wow, Bella."

"Yeah, wow," I said, laughing.

"My god, Edward! Your so dumb!" Emmett bellowed. He was still laughing uncontrollably. Edward looked angrily at Emmett.

"Shut up, Emmett," he said as calmly as he could manage.

"It's even the first letter of your name!" he hollered.

"Shut up, Emmett!" Edward warned, louder.

"How could you fall for that?!" he screamed.

"Emmett!" Edward yelled, so loud it hurt my ears. At the blink of an eye, Emmett darted out the door. Edward followed, cursing angrily. I laughed quietly and sat back down on the couch.

"Nice work, Bella," Alice said coolly as she and Jasper walked in the door. They sat by me, and together, we enjoyed a quiet, peaceful, evening.


End file.
